“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
~ 2
Timothy 1:7
So many people
have lost their confidence over the past several years, and for great reasons.
Our world kind of got thrown off its axis for a bit with the pandemic and world
events creating a cause and effect like we haven’t known in most of our
lifetimes.
It’s been challenging for so many to overcome many losses
including the loss of self-confidence. A gut punch to life circumstances left
some very devastated.
One of the ways to get past what happened is to increase our
self-confidence. We cannot let what happened to us define us and chain us to
the ground leaving us unable to move forward.
It’s a choice.
Lack of confidence is a result of fear. If you look at the
wheel that accompanies this article, you will see all the descriptive words
that live under fear. Words like rejected, weak, helpless, insignificant,
inferior, and excluded are just a few of the words listed.
We know that God does not give us a spirit of fear. He gives
us power to love and discipline ourselves to be overcomers and thrive. He can
restore us!
“And the God of all grace, who called you
to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will
himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” ~ 1 Peter 5:10
Here are a few tips to help you get on
your way:
· Avoid
triggers. Recognize your triggers – what sets you off and spirals you down?
· Change your
self-talk to Positive self-talk! – See the Feelings Wheel above for some great words
to describe yourself under the Happy Side of the wheel! Write these words in a notebook or on post-it notes for
cues to stay positive! Remind yourself of your accomplishments!
· Clean Up!!!
Get up every day and clean yourself up and dress well! Look like you are going
places and ready to conquer the day! Lounging in those pajamas all day ain’t
gonna’ fix this!
· Get out of
yourself! Think of others you can help or serve in your circle or community.
· Focus on
what you can do now and build from there.
· Be with
positive people. Expand your social circle to those who support you.
· Get enough
sleep, eat a healthy diet, increase your water intake and exercise.
· Stop
comparing yourself to others!!! This is not a competitive race! You have your
own special gifts and talents to use! I call this “IWantItis”!!! Be happy and
grateful for what God has given YOU!
·
Do one new thing
each day that gets you closer to building your confidence back.
o Try a new restaurant.
o Change your routine around the house or at
work.
o Ask for help from a salesclerk in a retail
store.
o Hold your head up and smile at people when
they pass you.
o Invite a friend over for a lunch that you
prepare.
o Join a club.
o Visit places around town you’ve never been to
before. Parks, Shopping areas/malls, theatres, gas stations, hardware stores, etc.
o Attend a fun event.
o Send out a greeting card to someone you
haven’t seen in a while.
o Try a new hairdo or makeup look.
o Clean out the closet and update your wardrobe.
o Feel Special! Get a massage or have a pamper
day.
o Set small goals and keep track of your
accomplishments in a notebook. You will be surprised when you look back on all
that you have achieved.
· Confide in a
close friend about your struggle so that they can help build you up, hold you up and hold you accountable on your journey.
· Don’t be
afraid to make decisions! Start by making small decisions and work your way up
to big decisions AND FEEL OKAY with what you decided! Don’t over think it. I have always said that if there’s no blood
and no one died, everything’s going to be okay!
· And of
course, prayer. "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed,
for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with
my righteous right hand." ~ Isaiah 41:10
Change is hard. This will take work and anything worth having is worth the work. Most people wouldn’t know that at one time, I too had no self-confidence, and it was very painful. I worked hard, improved at a 1% rate each day over a few years and I was eventually out of that bondage.
We will never forget what took us down
and caused us to lose our confidence, but know that you will be stronger, more
resilient, more driven, and more focused on the mission that God has given you
to accomplish after a trial. Sometimes, He gives us a mission that can only be accomplished after
we have gone through a learning experience and have completed the healing process.
It’s exciting to start a new day or
chapter in our lives! It may look different, it may feel different, but it is
okay! We are still standing, we are healing, moving past fears, and getting stronger. And we are
moving forward!
Debra Lee, Author | Keynote Speaker | Biz & Life Coach
"It Is What It Is" & "Making Wise Choices"
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