Question: I am with an MLM (multi-level marketing company) and do
presentations to groups of women. I don’t know how to handle someone who wants
all the attention and keeps interrupting. Please help. ~ Anonymous
The answer, well, you can go Classy or Sassy! Read below!
Ahh, yes, the interrupter. The attention seeker. There is
always one in every group. And if you don’t get that person under control, the
time it takes for you to do the presentation will run over, leaving the other
guests disappointed that their time was not valued. And ignoring it doesn’t work.
The attention seeker constantly takes over the conversation
diverting a story to talk about themselves. The motivation is usually
ego-driven where attention serves as validation of some kind.
It doesn’t take long to figure out who the attention seeker
is in a group. They can have a know-it-all attitude and try to beat you to
every punch line or the training you are trying to relay. They might have a
negative spirit and come as Debby Downer voicing their opinions loudly. Others
just like to be the life of the party by cracking jokes or making fun during
the presentation. If you are a teacher, you get this!
I have done presentations for years and have learned a
technique that usually works well in all cases.
When the disruptive person makes themselves known, and they
are starting to suck all the air out of the room, I slowly make my way to
standing behind them while I am still presenting. I ask questions of the group
so that I know that everyone is looking at me. Which in turn has them looking
at the troublemaker seated below me. A
lot of the time, this will stop the craziness.
However, not always. If it keeps up, still standing behind
them, I place one hand on their shoulder. This almost always does the trick.
They now have the entire group’s eyes on them, and I have validated the
attention seeker, their needs, by holding them in place with my touch as they
attempt to interrupt. My hand gets a little stronger or placed more regularly on
their shoulder with each attempt. The hold doesn’t have to stay in place for
very long, as they usually get my drift. They also don’t like you speaking from
behind them.
I’ve only had one case where this did not work, and it was a
doozy!!! Sometimes you have to be a little sassy and aggressive!
At one of my presentations, I had a rather large lady in
attendance. The other women in the room tried to avoid conversation with her
and eye contact because she had quite a mean spirit. It didn’t take me long to
figure out that I had my hands full. Yes, she was a bully. This was during my
Mary Kay presentation days, and she was being loud and obnoxious. When it came
time for her to wash her makeup off with one of my very clean, very sterilized
cloths, she rudely and mean spiritly asked, “How do I know where this cloth
has been?” I quickly answered her with
seriousness, not a smile on my face, and with a dash of my sense of humor, “I
washed my dogs butt with it!”
The room got quiet. She was a big woman and there was a look
on her face. I didn’t know if she was going to come up swinging or what. But
what happened was totally unexpected! She busted up laughing, and laughed so
hard that she broke the chair that she was sitting on!!! Everyone came together
to help her up and got her another chair.
I’ve had enough life experience to know that her mean spirit
came from pain. Pain in her life. After she left, the other ladies were
cheering me on! They said that everyone was afraid to stand up to her and just
tolerated her. They couldn’t believe what I did!
What happened next was even more amazing. She reached out to
me and ended up becoming one of my best customers and was always excited to see
me. I wasn’t afraid of her mean façade because I saw the real her through her
pain. We had real conversations and connected on a real level.
You must read the attention seeker well and with a little
finesse and tact, you can get them under control and win them over while
keeping your time and presentation intact!
Happy presentations!
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Debra Lee
Author | Keynote Speaker | Biz Coach | Life Coach | Blogger
Loved the story Deb. You are helping someone who didn't even know they needed help. Carol G
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading the article, Carol! ☺ You are right. Sometimes people don't know that they need help, until they get the help, then they wish they had asked years earlier. I love coaching people to greatness, but they have to put in the work. Those who do, really want to change and they do! Many Blessings to you!!!
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