Top Questions for the book “It Is What It Is…But It Wasn’t A Tragedy”

 TOP QUESTIONS!

     I have had a lot of interesting conversations with folks since the release of my autobiography in 2013. I have been asked all kinds of questions about what took place behind the scenes and all kinds of personal questions about my life. I get asked frequently if I would write a book for someone, instead of them doing it themselves or would I guide others on how to start writing a book. Then there’s the question as to why I choose to put all of it out there for the public to read about.

There are some things that everyone asks about, then there are a few questions that are unique, and then there are “those special kind of questions” that stump me, and I must stop and think about them for a bit before I give an answer!

Most are sincere questions, others are nosy questions, and some questions are the give-me-the-skinny-gossip-type questions, to which I refuse to answer.

We all know that by asking questions we learn. Since my autobiography is all about life lessons and sharing my experiences with others to learn from, I genuinely appreciate all the questions that do come my way.

The following are some of the top questions that I receive for this book.

 Q: Why didn’t you use names in your autobiography?

 A: This has been the number one question asked. I didn’t use names in the book for many reasons. You will on occasion find a name for a person or place, but I intentionally did not use a lot of names in the book. Here are the main reasons:

 

·    This is not a “tell all” book. That was not my intent and some of the folks I have written about want to remain private.

·        There are some people who are still alive who may wish to do me or my family harm. Only they will recognize who they are in the book.

·        And lastly, to avoid any lawsuits for possible slander.

Q: Was that me in your book?

A: Some people have read the book and think that they have recognized themselves and will ask if that was them that I had written about. Most of the time, it wasn’t them, and besides, I really do not divulge my resources! J

Q: Did you ever feel safe growing up in the jailhouse?

A: For the most part, my parents did a great job in protecting us kids as best as they could. I would say that most days I did feel safe, but there were a lot of days when I did not feel accepted by my peers or by the adults in my life. I don’t ever remember being truly afraid of the prisoners in our care, but there were a few times when I was scared stiff by different incidents that had occurred.

Q. It is so hard to understand how you were badly treated as a small child by the community you grew up in. Was that the way the community was, or was it because it was a small community?

A. Great question! I have visited with several people from that community who have read my book. To be quite honest they were totally clueless as to what was going on. In answer to your question, I think it was just a few unhappy people who really could not see the face of a small child as they hurled out their ugliness that should have been directed elsewhere.

The community was a good community. From our view, we frequently saw the ugly side of it.

 Q. How did learning to lock up your feelings as a small child help or hurt you as you grew up?

A. This question is about my grandfather’s funeral when I was six years of age. My grandmother’s outburst of raw pure grief at the service had quite an effect on me and I decided to never show my emotions in public.

I trained myself from that young age to be in control of my emotions. I don’t think this was a healthy thing to do. But at the same time, I was also being groomed in that direction as well. Because we lived in a fishbowl, we had to always take care in how we behaved or acted in front of other people in public. You never knew who was watching, what would make headlines, or how information could be used against us.

How did my control issue help? Well, it has helped me out of a lot of dangerous situations by my being able to stay calm, cool, and collected.

How has it hurt? It oftentimes put space between me and others. I don’t allow myself to get too close because past experiences proved painful. Some people, who haven’t taken the time to get to know me, have oftentimes pre-determined that I am hard, cold, stuck up, and unreachable. I have even been told that I have the work ethics of a man. (I was told that as a slam) But they didn’t really know me and how crazy I really am!!!

No question is a bad question, so if you have read the book and are curious about something, send in your questions! Use the online form to submit.

Debra Lee, Author/Keynote Speaker

Blogger/Biz Coach/Life Coach

“It Is What It Is…But It Wasn’t A Tragedy” & “Making Wise Choices…the most important life skill to master.”