It seems like the world has
gone crazy and integrity has flown out the window! I am amazed at what grown
adults do and say so that they don’t have to face the music and own up to their
shenanigans. I shake my head at what I see people do to ‘get ahead’ at all
costs. And those costs can come with devastating consequences.
The greatest test of
integrity is whether we will do what is right at our own expense. And you know,
when we do what is right, even when it costs us, it clears our conscience, and it
feels good in the end.
The best
reason I can think of as to why people act without integrity is because of
fear. Fear of losing. Losing something or someone.
·
Fear of losing
reputation
·
Fear of jail
·
Fear of being
found out
·
Fear of looking
bad
·
Fear of losing
spouse/friends
·
Fear of failure
·
Fear of not being
loved
Fear can make
people act in very strange ways, and sometimes very much out of character. It’s
a heart issue.
Another
reason for this deprivation could be the examples that were shown to a person while
they were growing up. Acting without good character was normalized in their
household.
I remember
someone telling me a story about a young child who was asked why they shoplifted
with their mother. The mother had been training her children how to shoplift.
The child answered that her mother always says that only stupid people work for
what they want. This was a young grade school child! This was her example.
Here's the definition of integrity: adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character;
honesty. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished, a sound,
unimpaired, or perfect condition
Here’s the difference between character and integrity.
Character can be taught, while integrity comes from the heart. Integrity
cannot be changed or polluted.
Corruption is the exact opposite
of integrity.
“The Day America Told the Truth”, written by James Patterson and Peter Kim used a survey
technique in their book that guaranteed the privacy and anonymity of the
respondents. The authors were able to
document what Americans really believe and do. The results were startling.
First, they found there was no moral authority in
America. “Americans are making up their own moral codes. Only 13 percent of us
believe in all the Ten Commandments. Forty percent of us believe in five of the
Ten Commandments. We choose which laws of God we believe in. There is
absolutely no moral consensus in this country as there was in the 1950s, when
all our institutions commanded more respect.”
Second, they found Americans are not honest. “Lying
has become an integral part of American culture, a trait of the American
character. We lie and don’t even think about it. We lie for no reason.” The
authors estimate that 91 percent of us lie regularly.
Third, marriage and family are no longer sacred
institutions. “While we still marry, we have lost faith in the institution of
marriage. A third of married men and women confessed to us that they’ve had at
least one affair. Thirty percent aren’t sure that they still love their
spouse.”
Fourth, they found that the “Protestant [work] ethic
is long gone from today’s American workplace. Workers around America frankly
admit that they spend more than 20 percent (7 hours a week) of their time at
work totally goofing off. That amounts to a four-day work week across the
nation.”
The authors conclude by suggesting that we have a new
set of commandments for America:
·
I don’t see the
point in observing the Sabbath (77 percent).
·
I will steal
from those who won’t really miss it (74 percent).
·
I will lie when
it suits me, so long as it doesn’t cause any real damage (64 percent).
·
I will cheat on
my spouse; after all, given the chance, he or she will do the same (53
percent).
·
I will
procrastinate at work and do absolutely nothing about one full day in every
five (50 percent).
We may say that we are a nation that wants integrity,
but apparently many of us lack it in our own personal lives.
The following speech, written by Dr. S. M.
Davis, sums up the definition of integrity well.
“Integrity is the unwavering determination in the heart
to do right no matter what.”
“When I’m afraid, I must do right. When I’m not afraid, I must do right.
When my emotions try to lead me the wrong way, I must have integrity. I must do
right. When my emotions are doing fine, I must do right. When I’m among the
heathen, I must do right. When I’m not among the heathen, I must do right. When
I’m among committed Christians, I must do right. And when I’m among Christians
you can hardly tell apart from the world, I must do right.”
“When my friends stand with me, I must do right. When my friends attack me,
I must still do right. When my friends turn on me, despise me, make fun of me,
and put me down, I must still maintain integrity. If my wife and children stand
with me, I must do right. If my wife and children don’t stand with me, I must
do right. When it’s easy, I must do right. When it’s hard, I must do right.
When there’s no cost, I must do right. When the cost seems high, I must do
right. When people like it, I must do right. When people don’t like it, I must
do right. That’s integrity.”
In other words, stand up for what is right,
even if you stand alone.
From the Lecture Series for “Making Wise Choices…the most important life
skill to master” by Debra Lee
Debra Lee | Author | Keynote Speaker | Biz & Life Coach
