My Before and After Makeover

     Before I dedicated myself to Christ and His mission, I was quite a mess! Anyone who has read my books understands what I am talking about. When I turned my life around, a total change didn’t happen all at once. It was a lot of hard work to walk away from my crazy previous life with all its worldly glitz & glamour. I was a fashionista, and fashion was a big deal to me. I was young, but I learned a better way after I started studying the Word. It took time, and with God walking and working with me, I eventually was able to break the chains of darkness. We had a lot to work on and it took years. I’m still a work in progress!

As I scroll through social media, I keep seeing wonderful Christian women dressed very revealing in their posts. Their narratives are about church/Christ/scripture. Now before you go crazy on me, I am not old fashioned!!! I love fashion, I spent a lot of my career in it, with a degree in it! I like wearing up to date items. My grandmother was the same. She wore shorter skirts than most her age would and was always dressed fashionably. We called her our “Swinging Grandma”!

Fashion says, “Show off your assets!” This is a perfect statement for the attention seeker! I see it all the time on social media platforms with women posting seductive pictures of themselves with a Christian message. It’s all about the number of likes and comments. And you can see how many men are writing the comments, usually only men are writing the comments. These women have become play toys for their followers. Trust me, these men are not reading the Christian narratives that are posted with these kinds of photos!

It's okay to have a smoking hot body!!!! No jealousy here! But Chrisitan women really need to pay attention to the message they are sending out to the world.

Modest dress says, “See me for who I am!” Leave the revealing for your husband’s eyes only.

You can still be a fashionista! Your modest, yet fashionable attire can still enhance your assets!  You will still stand out, but in a more effective way for the Kingdom.

I guess it all boils down to what your focus/mission is with your social media posts.

Here are some scriptures that helped me to better understand the calling that God put on my life for the Kingdom.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,” 1 Corinthians 6:19

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Galatians 5:16

“Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.” 2 Timothy 2:21

 

Debra Lee | Author & Keynote Speaker | Life & Biz Coach

Click here for all my services!

 

Why Does God Send People to Hell?

 

Why does God send people to hell?

The short answer, He doesn't. But let's explore.

The question can also be reworded, “how can a loving God send someone to hell?” The word send, denotes an action only on the part of the sender. If a man sends a letter, sends a request, or sends a gift, all action was done by that man. No action was taken on the part of the letter, request, or gift. However, this understanding of the word send cannot be applied to the question because God has given human beings freedom to participate in their life choices and eternal destinations. Read John 3:16–18. The way this question is worded implies that, if anyone goes to hell, it is the result of God’s unilateral action, and the person being sent to hell is a passive victim. Such an idea completely disregards the personal responsibility God has entrusted to each of us.

A better wording is “If God is love, then why do some people go to hell?” Romans 1:18–20 lays the foundation for the answer: “The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.”

When answering the question “how can a loving God send someone to hell?” another facet of God’s nature comes into play. God is not only love, but He is perfect justice as well. Justice requires adequate payment for crimes committed. The only just punishment for high treason against our perfect Creator is eternal separation from Him. That separation means the absence of goodness, light, relationship, and joy, which are all facets of God’s nature. To excuse our sin would require God to be less than just, and to allow sin-tainted humans into His perfect heaven would render that place less than perfect. That’s why only the perfect Son of God could go to the cross in our place. Only His perfect blood was an acceptable payment for the debt we each owe God (Colossians 2:14). When we refuse Jesus as our substitute, we must pay the price ourselves (Romans 6:23).

God gave us the freedom to choose how we respond to Him. If He forced us to love Him, we would be robots. To give us no option but obedience would be a violation of our free will. Love is only love when it is voluntary. We cannot love God unless we have the option of not loving Him. Because God honors our autonomy, He will never force surrender or loyalty. However, there are consequences for either choice. C. S. Lewis summarizes this truth in his classic work, The Great Divorce: “There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’ All that are in Hell, choose it.”

 

Excerpts taken from www.GotQuestions.org

Debra Lee | Author | Keynote Speaker | Life Coach | Biz Coach

Click here for all my services!

Business Networking. We must do it.

 

     

     Most people hate visiting network groups because they feel uncomfortable or inadequate to be in the same room with successful professionals. They don’t know what to say and they don’t know how to make themselves engaging enough.

However, networking is a must, especially when you are first starting out. I tell my clients to go to as many groups as possible before they open their business and until their business has grown to the point where they can choose one or two groups to be a part of.  Make sure that the groups you attend have different people and business types in them.

Warning: If you are in a network group every day of the week, then you are not working in your business and bringing in the immediate dollars you need to grow and survive.

Understanding how networking works will help. The first hurdle is that networking is a hierarchy. Since everyone is trying to reach their own goals, individuals will actively seek out others who can help them achieve their desired results and everyone else will take a backseat (not always, but in most circumstances).

Consider this. When you look at a picture of your family or a group of friends, who do you see first?  The answer is that we typically look at ourselves because that is who we are most concerned with.

Sorry, human flaw, but it's the way people think. You can leverage this knowledge and be successful at networking.   You can gain traction by understanding the goals of the person you're approaching. Once you have this bit of information, then you can figure out a way to partner together and help them achieve what they are seeking to accomplish.

Start by visualizing what you would like if you were that individual. For instance:

·         If you're networking with an entrepreneur, that person wants someone who can bring fresh ideas and make the company money.

·         If you're networking with a HR rep, that person simply wants to fill a job with an employee who can perform the tasks required.

·         If you're networking with a sales manager, that person simply wants employees who are hunters and who can increase their territory sales.

I have found that my many years of networking and getting to know a lot of people in different industries has added value to what I can offer others to help them meet their goals.  

If you have just started out and don’t have a lot of contacts yet, instead of getting discouraged, use this as a motivator and eventually you will be of significant use to a lot of important decision makers.

The Unwritten Rule of Networking

Once you have attended a network group and you have gathered everyone’s business cards it’s time to reach out to them with a follow up email for phone call and request a meet up.

Do your research on the individuals before you reach out.  I look at their social media, their websites, and other sources. Write down 5 goals you would want to achieve if you were that individual.  Once you know someone's motivators, you know how to effectively approach networking. Have a plan, an agenda in place for how you can help them meet their goals before you meet them.

Your agenda could include those you know that would make a great connection for them, helpful suggestions, programs, grants that are available, etc.

The rule of thumb is that you can only contact a person once and that individual will typically take you off their radar if they don't find you compelling (or your skills compelling enough) ...instantaneously.

Think one shot. Be prepared and deliver results that individuals actively need.  If they like what you have to offer them, then the chances are they will be interested in working with you and helping you in the future.

It's okay to start small and work your way up.  It takes time to build an effective network.

In the End

The issue is that 100's of individuals are trying to network with the same people, but their approach often comes across as "I want something from you," rather than, "This is what I can do for you."

People who "want" don't become successful.  People who earn viable skills through hard work, passion and dedication are the ones that everyone bends over backwards to network with.

Here’s to your networking successes!

Debra Lee | Biz & Life Coach | Author | Keynote speaker

Find all my business services here!

Branding 101: Your Biz Attire

 

     Not everyone understands the importance of creating their ‘own’ brand. And most often, there is confusion. Most people think that the brand of the company they work for is their brand. Not so.

When I speak of branding oneself, I am addressing how a business professional can ‘stand out’ from everyone else. What makes them unique, different, better, than anyone else in their company or profession. Branding ranges from the way one dresses to the services and products they offer, their social media presence, down to the smallest details in creating a very ingenious business card.

In this article I will be addressing business attire. How we choose our clothing for business is extremely important! I started branding myself with my clothing as a young twenty-something while I was climbing the ladder of success. (I was a fashion major, so that helped!) I had no idea that I was branding myself, until I was in my thirties. Usually, the term branding back in those days was about Fortune 500 companies and their clever advertising campaigns!

Someone had pointed out to me that I was always dressed up, in a dress or suit, with jewelry, makeup and hair done. When I started my first business, I was always dressed up when I went out to do estimates and home visits. One day, I was on my way to do an estimate when a neighbor hollered out to me, “No wonder you have so much business, all dressed up and looking fine like that!” It made me smile, but he was correct. No one else in my industry ever dressed up to do estimates, ever! It is important to look sharp and stand out because it can be a magnet for lots of great business!

First impressions are the most important element of meeting someone new. Without the right clothing, it does not matter how qualified you are or how good you are in your field. You most likely will be overlooked if you are not making a grand first impression. In an ideal world you would only be judged for your talent and skills. At the end of the day, you will be judged on your looks, and clothing is a huge part of it. In our fast-paced world, people will make quick judgements by what they see within the first few seconds. And even though many will say that they do not make quick judgements about people, they will make quick assumptions.

Scientist from Columbia University and Cal State Northridge published a study that examines how clothing may affect one’s thoughts. The results found that wearing formal clothes can free people from concrete thinking while boosting their ability to think more practically.

Dressing professionally will increase your self-confidence! The way you dress will always, always, always affect your attitude and the way you act. Dress casually, you act casually, and you are saying to others, “this is my hobby, not my career”. Dress professionally, suddenly you have more self-confidence to conquer the world like the King or Queen that you are! If you look the part, you play the part. If you look and play the part, you will also gain the respect of your co-workers and clients.

When you dress professionally, you are making a visual statement about yourself. Make sure you are sending the correct message by keeping these three things in mind when selecting your business attire: authentic, authoritative, and appropriate.

Here are 10 reasons to Dress for Success:

1.    Science Says So. In an experiment, a man crossed the street against traffic. When he was dressed in a suit, three-and-a-half times as many people followed him as when he was wearing a work shirt and a pair of trousers. (Study by Lefkowitz, Blake, and Mouton, 1955)

2.    First Impressions Count.

3.    Promotes Self-Respect.

4.    Boost Self-Confidence.

5.    It Draws the Right Kind of Attention.

6.    It is a Step to Overall Improvement.

7.    It will Keep you Productive.

8.    It Shows your Attention to Detail.

9.    Gives you a Competitive Edge. And It's Fun!

 

It does not have to cost a fortune to start improving your brand!

I have helped many women over the years build their professional wardrobes. I have taught classes with visuals to help others learn as well. If you need help in this area, please reach out!  

To get started, all you need is:

·         One pair of basic black dress slacks: not leggings, not yoga pants.

·      One basic black dress skirt: about knee length or longer, no side/front slits, back walking slit is a yes.

·         One structured black blazer: suiting material.

·         One unstructured black jacket: usually a knit material or sweater

·         One basic dress: any color or design.

·         Two dress blouses/tops: any color or design, not low cut.

·         Basic jewelry: gold or silver, necklace/bib necklace, earrings/short, a bracelet, nothing that clangs or makes noise.

·         One pair of black dress shoes: one-inch heel or more, comfortable for walking or standing for long hours in need.

Start with the basics, select ‘classic’ clothing designs, i.e. clothing that never goes out of style, then mix and match what you have. Jacket over dress, jacket over blouse with trousers. Later, add more color and designs as you can. But to get started with a wardrobe that says you mean business; you do not have to spend a fortune. You can find lots of nice career wear choices in thrift stores! All the businesspeople who retire, send their nice, hardly worn, designer outfits to thrift stores! True story!

Some of my acquaintances have made their ‘wardrobe colors’ a part of their branding. One lady runs a winery, and all her dress clothes are wine or purple in color. Another person used her logo colors to design her clothing around. Her logo has three colors and that is how she chooses her wardrobe.

Why would you want to look like everyone else?

I pose this question, because during one of my training sessions with a group, I actually had someone try to defend not dressing appropriately for an event with “everyone else was dressed that way”.

My response was, "who cares that Susie across the aisle from you at a trade show is dressed in jeans and a t-shirt to represent her business? She looks like everyone else in the room. She didn't stand out at all!"

BE A MAGNET AND A SHINING STAR! Look so sharp, shiny bright and energizing that people want to get to know you and want to do business with you. Make them think, “I want some of that!”

When you are working trade shows and representing your business out in public in any way, you should be dressed just above how you anticipate the others in the room will be dressed.

Now you can take my advice or not. I am only speaking from 45 years of experience and have watched people soar by making a few branding adjustments, like choosing better clothing.

Do this because life is too short to blend in. Do not settle for AVERAGE!

 

Debra Lee Biz & Life Coach | Author | Keynote Speaker

 

Find all my business services here!

 

 

The Bottom Line for Business Owners

 

 

       

          When you are first starting out in business your thoughts of living the dream can quickly turn to “Help, how am I going to survive!” You most likely are working alone and doing everything yourself while worried if you will ever make a profit.

       Being a business owner can be very daunting and exhausting and can prove to be very lonely and isolating. Like the saying goes, ‘It’s lonely at the top.” Finding others who are walking in your shoes and finding those who have made it to the other side will be an important part of your success.

        It is important for you to connect with like-minded businesswomen or men in your community. Support, friendships and mentorships will be a major gain and can launch your success. 

1.      Find Several Role Models

a)      Identify several role models in the groups you are a part of. Get to know them, watch how they handle their business and situations, ask questions about how they do things.

2.      Get Organized

a)      You can waste a lot of time when you are not organized. Cut down on your frustration levels and start operating effectively and efficiently.

3.      Take the Steps

a)      The first must if you are a business owner is to be BRAVE! Jump in, get started, go for that goal! You do not have to be perfect, nor does everything have to be perfect before you begin! Fear is not an option in business! Now Go!

4.      Ask for HELP!

a)      It is important to get more people involved in what you are doing! Do not be afraid to ask for help. Allow yourself to get freed up to home in on your mission and steer the boat ahead!

5.      Build a community!

a)      This is so important for your business and for your sanity! Join network groups, go to business mixers, look for online business leader communities, use social media to connect with likeminded folks.

6.      Own Your Success!

a)    I am giving you permission to do this! As women we tend to hide our accomplishments. I remember when I owned my first business, I was embarrassed and felt guilty about how much money I was bringing in. A good friend gave me permission to own my success! Keep great records of your accomplishments so you can’t easily dismiss them!

7.      Be Flexible.

a)    Being a business owner will teach you how to be flexible! And it will teach you that lesson very quickly! If you cannot be flexible, you will sink. You cannot have everything set in stone; you must be able to pivot on a moment’s notice. Ideas will need to change, parts of your business plan will need to be re-written, you might even have to re-do a bit of the mission if you want to survive. One business I worked for was afraid to do anything different from when it had started 60+ years earlier. They were afraid they would fail at trying something new, like keeping up with the times. Because of their inflexibility, they lost the business.

8.      Learn to Let Go

a)      Whatever picture you have in your head about how glorious it will be to own your own business, let it go. It is hard work. You must roll up your sleeves, get dirty, strap it to your body and soul like a girdle and go after it. Learn how to multitask, delegate, organize, prioritize, and execute!

THE BOTTOM LINE: Build relationships with like-minded business owners and learn from them. Do not reinvent the wheel if you do not have to! Listen and learn from other’s mistakes and successes. There is no need to walk down the lane of shameful failures because you decided to go it alone and learn the hard way.

 

Debra Lee, Author & Keynote Speaker, Biz & Life Coach

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