Why are people living without joy in their lives?

 

The Why

Let ‘s begin by looking at why folks possibly aren’t living with joy in their lives. What is the thing that is holding them back.

There are a few reasons.

1.      Sometimes, it’s simply because they are surrounded by a bunch of whiners, gripers, and complainers.

a.      We find that we are surrounded by a relentless number of negative spirits that inject the same toxic thoughts that they have, right into our own minds.

b.     The influence of whiners will eventually turn us into one too.

2.      Some may think that their happiness is dependent upon external factors. Someone or something will make them happy!

a.      They keep waiting for that compliment to come.

b.     They keep waiting for people to come to them.

c.      They have a continuous “want” for acceptance from everyone.

d.     They keep waiting for someone/something to fill that gaping hole that they keep trying to fill up.

3.      Do more, have more, be more syndrome - I-want-itis

a.      That picture-perfect life is always within grasp, and it is always in the future.

b.     Always living in the “Someday” I will be happy when…

c.      You know what?

 ·         That $30 purse will hold the same amount of junk as a $300 purse.

·         Those $15 pair of shoes can serve the same purpose as the $150 pair.

·         The 300-sq. ft. house can provide protection from the elements just like the 3000-sq. ft. house can.

·         That used car can get you from point A to point B just like a new car can.

·         We know this stuff, about stuff, but we find ourselves in the cycle of falling into the want “more syndrome” stuff!     

Health Benefits

So now that we have looked at some of the reasons “why” some don’t live a thankful happy life, let’s look at some of the health benefits of living a thankful life.

Studies have shown that the regular practice of feeling thankful is healthier.

a.      People who practice this take better care of themselves.

b.     They have better immune systems.

c.      Benefits for the heart.

d.     They sleep better.

e.      They have better mental health.

f.        It helps protect from negative emotions that come with extreme losses.

Social Benefits

a.    It makes you a better friend to others.

b.   Those who are aware of the positives in their lives focus their attentions outwardly on others. They have a genuine concern for others and what they are going through.

Now let’s look at two C words:

Contentment

Webster’s definition: a state of happiness and satisfaction:  Noun

Contentment comes from within, and it is a state of mind, and it is a choice.

a.      A negative person could say:

·          “Well, God made me this way.” He did not. He did not give you a spirit of discontentment. Discontentment is a learned behavior, and it can be changed.

·         I’m not rich enough, good enough, have enough, so how can I be happy?

It’s not what you have but how you feel about what you have that makes the difference.

                                                                                  

When you see yourself referencing a situation in the negative, when you are complaining, whining, or having a pity party, then you need to flip the switch!

Complacency:

Definition: a feeling of being satisfied with how things are and not wanting to try to make them better: a complacent feeling or condition

One thing to remember is that contentment is not an excuse for complacency!

Five signs that might tell you that you are becoming a tad bit complacent:

1.   You are far too easily satisfied. You become satisfied with incremental growth and minor achievements. (I got a C on the test, so I’ve got this!) All you did was pass the test, you don’t got this!

a.   But what, didn’t you just say to be content? When you become complacent, you end up becoming a slug. We are never to stop growing, learning, and running the race for the Kingdom!

2.   Quick to make excuses.

a.      You are quick to make excuses why you are not growing, and why you cannot do anything new.

b.     Challenges become obstacles; barriers become excuses.

c.      It’s easy to find excuses to keep things “status quo”.

3.      Never enough time.

a.      Lots of busyness and activity, but it is not strategic activity.

b.     You keep spending your time the way you always have. And when you are complacent, that’s just fine.

4.      You become no longer teachable.

a.      You resist being pushed or challenged.

b.     You reject new ideas.

c.      Prideful – stick to old ways to protect ego.

5.       Become content with early success.

a.      You’ve had measured success, and it is proving to be enough. “I won the race, got the trophy, nothing else for me to accomplish, so I’m good.”

b.     You’ve stopped dreaming, and stopped pushing, and stopped.

C.S. Lewis states that the great problem with human beings is that we are far too easily pleased. We don’t seek pleasure with nearly the resolve and passion that we should. So, we settle for less.

 

I often wonder, from my observations, if sometimes Christians don’t fully believe Jesus when he says there is more blessedness, more joy, more full and lasting pleasure in a life devoted to helping others than there is in a life devoted to our material comfort? Matthew 6:19,20

We are not called to be complacent. We are called to keep our eyes on the goal, keep the goal, work towards that goal, and run towards the goal. While doing so, we are to be content with what we have, be grateful for what we have already been given, while we are achieving new heights.

Colossians 3:15-17 Paul writes:

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in work or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

1.   Be content – let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.

2.   Be thankful – remember the good things God has done in your life.

3.   Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly – Begin everyday with the word.  He will give us a humble attitude that helps us to appreciate what he has done.

4.   Sing to God with Gratitude in your hearts – be grateful for the one who has given you a hope and a future.

5.   Do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus – It will keep you thankful during the most daunting times!

6.   Give thanks to God the Father through him (Jesus) – Jesus died for us!

 

Look up! Giving praise to God and being thankful to God, will help us to recognize and appreciate the littlest of things, and the simplest of tasks. It’s not always about the big stuff! When you begin to recognize and are thankful for the small stuff, wow! Then when the big stuff happens, you’re going to appreciate it even more!

By looking up to heaven and staying focused, you will also begin to measure your successes differently. Remember that be more, do more, have more syndrome? This will change and fade away!

You might struggle in the beginning with not being able to recognize what you need to be thankful for or what you even have to be thankful for, so ask him to open your eyes! He will do that for you!

Once He has revealed these things to you, it will change your life! Be thankful, serve Him with a grateful heart, then make sure you take care of what He has given to you!

After looking up, we need to move horizontally outward to others.

Remember that you are blessed by what God has given you, be content, reach for heavenly goals, and share your riches, God’s gold, with others! A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles to take place within you and outside of you, so give away the good stuff!

1.      Associate with the right people – don’t give your pearls to swine -cut down on the amount of time you spend with the “negative nellies” in your life. Let them observe that you will not stand for gossip, or malice or any negative thoughts, once you quit partaking in that foolishness, they will weed you out! Negative people don’t hang with positive folks. They don’t want their party to get rained on.

2.      Say thank you as often and as much as you can. – in person, send thank you notes, a simple email, or phone call or text.

3.      Appreciate everything that people do for you and show it. – even for the small things, that may be all they have to give.

4.      Be thankful for the people God has put in your life. – even the EGR’s! They are in your life for a reason, so learn from the experiences!

a.      Are you being taught patience or a new skill level with how to handle people, are you learning about boundaries?

b.     Are you being blessed by knowing someone? Have they changed your life for the better?

5.      Serve others with a grateful heart. – Grateful Heart, please! And do all work and service work to honor God.

6.      Set a goal of improving at least one person’s life a day! – help someone in need, who can you smile at, greet warmly, listen to, encourage, pray for.

7.      Simply put, Treat People Well - Content, happy people are not jealous or envious people! They do not have a critical spirit that runs people down, they treat and serve others with joy and delight and are very uplifting souls! They want people to be successful and even more successful than themselves!

Joy in doing good and to others is final joy in God, because the ultimate good that we are always aiming for is to 1) display the glory of God and 2) to expand our own joy in God to others.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

And in the middle of the storm James 1:2-4 tells us to consider it pure joy, because the testing of your faith produces perseverance, which will make you mature and complete, not lacking anything.

The more that you have matured, the more you realize exactly how much you have to be thankful for and you LOOK for things to be grateful for. You LOOK for the positive, you LOOK to do the positive, and you LOOK up to heaven and say THANK YOU!

When you have matured in spirit, you realize the gift of the Holy Spirit, and you are thankful for the Hope in your heavenly future, you are grateful for God’s abundancy that He has given you. And the most natural response to having all these things is joy, peace, and contentment.

C.S. Lewis wrote – “It is a Christian duty for everyone to be as happy as he can.”

Personally, I treat delight and joy as a duty.

Graphic

Differences between Joy and Happiness

Let’s look at what the Bible says about joy:

Deut. 28:47-48 | did not serve Lord joyfully, you will serve your enemies.

Psalm 16:11 | you will fill me with joy and eternal pleasures.

Psalm 32:11 | rejoice in the Lord and be glad, sing.

Psalm 37:4 | take delight in Lord, desires of heart.

Psalm 43:4 | God, my joy and delight

Psalm 67:4 | nations be glad and sing for joy.

Psalm 90:14 | sing for joy

Psalm 100:2 | worship with gladness, come before him joyful.

Matt 5:11-12 | rejoice and be glad, great is your reward.

Matt 25:21 | share your master’s happiness.

Luke 10:20 | rejoice that your names are written in heaven.

John 15:11 | my joy in you, joy complete

Romans 5:3,4 | glory in sufferings – produces perseverance, character, and hope.

2 Corinthians 6:10 | sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.

Philippians 4:4 | Rejoice in the Lord always.

Hebrews 12:2 | the joy set before him; he endured the cross

James 1:2 | pure joy, when face trials

1 Peter 4:13 | overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

The Bible tells us over and over to pursue joy.

I think that we can conclude that joy is a part of obedience and because joy is an act of obedience we are commanded to rejoice in God.

The desire to be happy is God-given and should not be denied or resisted. God created us and saved us for HIS glory so that we might spend eternity glorifying Him by ENJOYING Him forever.

Therefore, joy in God is an essential part of our saving faith.

Characteristics of a Joy Filled Person

• 1)      A joyful heart trusts God.
• 2)      A joyful heart obeys God and follows his Word.
• 3)      A joyful heart, prays and spends time in God’s presence.
• 4)      A joyful heart, practices gratitude.
• 5)      A joyful heart, understands the difference between happiness and joy (and they accept sorrow)

 

Six Characteristics of the Joyful Christian:

1. The Joyful Christian has hope in the future. God plans to prosper us spiritually, now and in the future (Jer 29:11).
2. The Joyful Christian has faith, not only in the doctrines of the Faith, but also trust that God is working in their day-to-day life.
3. The Joyful Christian has love for God. They are a disciple because they want to spend eternity with the one who loves them most: God.
4. The Joyful Christian isn’t afraid of failures. Failure reveals opportunity. In the Bible, God’s greatest work comes about through human failure.
5. The Joyful Christian rejoices in their identity inside Christ. In Christ we are children of God, royal priests, anointed, blessed, beloved, sacred, liberated, and just. Although we sin, Christ is our primary identity.
6. The Joyful Christian lives in the present day. They cannot change the past. They don’t know the future. As the Holy Spirit said, “Today if you hear His voice do not harden your heart.” Joy is found today.

Six Characteristics of the Sour Christian:

1. The Sour Christian worries constantly. They fear the future. This makes them anxious all the time.
2. They profess all the doctrines of the faith but struggle to trust that God is working in the complications of each day.
3. They say they love God, but fears hell more than desiring to be with God in heaven. This leads to scruples, fear, and discouragement.
4. They fear failure and ridicule. Shame is a predominant trait.
5. They see themselves first as a sinner and only incidentally as belonging in Christ. They see their identity as under wrath, judged, shamed, and on God the Father’s nerves. Their status with God feels slippery and uncertain.
6. The Sour Christian lives in the past or lives in the future. They spend time every day regretting the past. They love to the play the game “what if.” What if I married someone else? What if I became a nun? What if I hadn’t done that sin? Because they wallow in the past, they fear the future. They worry about tomorrow, next week, next year, and the next decade. The future looks grim. They grow more and more sour.

 

In conclusion, let Christ be your treasure chest of holy joy!

Debra Lee | From the Making Wise Choices Lecture Series

Blogger | Author | Keynote Speaker | Biz & Life Coach

 

 

I'll never ask you to do anything that I wouldn't do myself!

Management 101

Being a good leader means many things and it can mean the world to someone who needs direction.

My first retail mentor was a retired military man who thought that running a store should bring hardship to his 200 employees. He would make us work back-to-back shifts into the wee hours of the morning with only two hours of sleep in between shifts. He created other hardships as well, like approving a vacation and then jerking it from you two days before you were to leave out on a jet plane. Of course, he got in trouble for doing this, and brought major fines upon the company for breaking employment laws.

As hard as he was to work for, I thought that his style brought results, so that is how I led people in my early career days. However, I didn’t like how that felt, so I learned a different way of managing and leading people that gained respect, confidence in my abilities, and one that built up leadership abilities in others.

One company that I worked for had transferred me to Little Rock, Arkansas to take over a large district. This was quite a challenge for me, but I managed to get the district cleaned up and ranking at the top of the company of 26 stores. I had a lot of turnovers at first because of all the thieving that was going on before I had arrived there, leaving me no choice but to let many go.

Others were salvageable. I saw value in them and their abilities, so I set out to mentor. Again, they didn’t’ know me from Adam, and they had to learn to trust me, know that I was a person of my word, and know that I wanted the best for them.

One of the young men that worked for me was our receiving person for the docks and handled maintenance and custodial duties. This store was nestled on the side of a hill with lots of surrounding trees. It was beautiful, but a bit messy in the fall.

I had asked him one day to go out to the front of the store and rake up the leaves that were an eyesore and danger for customers to maneuver as well as clean the docks as the drains were being clogged with leaves.

He disappeared for a while, I assumed to take care of the leaves. I eventually looked out the window to see what he was doing. He had raked a pile of leaves, had a trash can, but was just standing there looking at the pile. That’s all he was doing. I was kind of wondering what was going on.  

I went outside to see what the holdup was. His answer made me chuckle. He didn’t know how to get the leaves into the trash can!

I, in my dressy dress and high heels, bent down and started picking up the leaves with my hands, no gloves, and putting the leaves into the trash can while he stood there and watched.

He couldn’t believe I was doing this all dressed up and without gloves! I told him hands are washable.

I also told him that I would never ask him to do something that I wouldn’t do myself.

I gained a lot of his trust that day and he eventually would share a bit of his life with me and ask for advice.

Debra Lee | Author | Keynote Speaker | Biz & Life Coach 

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