Reader's Questions For
"It Is What It Is...But It Wasn't A Tragedy"
Q. It is so hard to
understand how you were badly treated as a small child by the community you
grew up in. Was that the way the community was as a whole, or was it because it
was a small community?
A. Great
question! I have visited with several people from that community who have read
my book. To be quite honest they were totally clueless as to what was going on.
So in answer to your question, I think it was just a few unhappy people who
really could not see the face of a small child as they hurled out their
ugliness that should have been directed elsewhere.
As a whole I think the community was a good community. We
just got to see the ugly side of it.
Q. How did learning
to lock up your feelings as a small child help or hurt you as you grew up?
A. This question
is in reference to my grandfather’s funeral when I was six years of age. My
grandmother’s outburst at the service had quite an effect on me and I decided
to never show my emotions in public.
I trained myself from that young age to be in control of my
emotions. I don’t think this was a healthy thing to do. But at the same time, I
was also being groomed in that direction as well. Because we lived in a fish
bowl, we had to always take care in how we behaved or acted in front of other
people or in public. You never knew who was watching, what would make headlines,
or how information could be used against us.
How did my control issue help? Well, it has helped me out of
a lot of dangerous situations by my being able to stay calm, cool, and collected.
How has it hurt? It has oftentimes put space between me and
others. I don’t allow myself to get too close because past experiences proved
painful. Some people, who haven’t taken the time to get to know me, have
oftentimes pre-determine that I am hard, cold, stuck up, and unreachable. I
have even been told that I have the work ethics of a man. (I’m sure I was told
this as a slam) But, they don’t really know me and how crazy I really am!!!
Check back later for more Q & A!
For Q & A about writing a book, see my book’s page “It
Is What It Is…But It Wasn’t A Tragedy”.
Blessings!
Debra Lee